


Doctors Renegade

by CrackheadMaster, MethMissy



Category: Doctor Who, Dr Who - Fandom
Genre: Implied/Referenced Abuse, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Recreational Drug Use
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-08
Updated: 2020-08-31
Packaged: 2021-03-05 03:09:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,625
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25137463
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CrackheadMaster/pseuds/CrackheadMaster, https://archiveofourown.org/users/MethMissy/pseuds/MethMissy
Summary: It starts, as it always does, with the Doctor on an adventure. Breezing through hell, emotional turmoil and fun with the fam closely attached at the hip. Tripping over themselves to praise and stroke the Doctors ego and try prove themselves more intelligent than a plank of wood.Through one of their adventures they involve all sorts of people, But when the Doctor makes one key mistake and kills two innocents. Her guilt means the fam gets some new members as some sort of apology.Quickly she will learn that not every companion is easy to deal with.
Kudos: 2





	1. Encounter - Ashe

It was odd to see the aliens venture this far south, they normally stuck to cities like London and Sheffield, but how could they miss an opportunity like this. It was the hottest day of the year, people packed onto the beaches like sardines, trapped between cliffs and the sea. A perfect festering pit of humans to test the doctor's patience and resolve to save innocent lives. 

That’s where we rested for the day. The sun and sea was a welcome backdrop for our double date. Whilst busy, the climate weather kept spirits high and it felt like nothing could go better than a restful stop by the pier, where we had just freshly moored our little row boat we had rented for the day.

When they came, they came fast and with no warning. Firing from above; sand, shrapnel and people flying everywhere. Flesh burning in the summer sun. A blue box materialised, hissing into view. The doctor emerged with her entourage. They hurried to get everything under control, looking more flustered than calm. She approached us first, asking to commandeer our boat that we had just moored up. Speaking about having to align directly underneath the ship in a blind spot. Muttering incoherently and quickly. Rattling off the species name and origin and something about if something called UNIT were here, they would be a lot of bluming help right now.  
Of course the boys had to say yes, our boys, insisting they take her out themselves. They made El and I stay on dry land with her band of merry men. Only able to watch as they disappeared towards the horizon. The sounds of the bewildered and scared public fading into white noise as I began to talk to the oldest male of the group.

I heard the explosion before I saw it. Heard El’s screams as the boat was engulfed by flames. I went numb, I was frozen. I could see El running down the pier, Ryan and Yaz chasing her. I felt graham shaking me, asking me if I was okay. I watched El launch herself into the water, towards the flaming wreck. Ryan tried to follow her, but Yaz held him back. Idiots thinking they could follow her into the sea. 

Minutes passed, nobody returned. I couldn’t even begin to process what had happened, I was an empty shell. I barely noticed Yaz pacing, arguing with the other two. I barely noticed the blonde haired woman haul herself up onto the pier, the joyful reunion. She said that nobody had survived, that she was so sorry. Looking out to the ocean I knew she was right about the boys. There was no way anyone could have survived that blast. I couldn’t even comprehend how this petite little woman managed to worm herself back into the land of the living. To be standing again in front of us, reuniting with her friends. El was sobbing, angry. El was also a stubborn bitch, she wouldn’t let death take her man that easily. She was smart, determined and now with a vendetta she would do something stu-

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Hey, hey miss! Earth to ....” Said graham, clicking his fingers in front of my face. 

“Hmmm, oh yeah, sorry Ashe” I said distractedly. Introducing myself. Keeping my eyes firmly locked onto the horizon. Onto the flames.

“In case you had forgotten we are in the middle of a hotel filled with huge ass spiders” 

“Shit Yeah sorry Graham, how could I forget” I sheepishly said. Locking my eyes out of my daze onto his face. Darting around his features and realising the current world in which I inhabited.  
El hated spiders. Always got me or one of the boys to get rid of them. The thought of her brought a small smile to my face. The thought of her at peace.

The Doctor flailed her arms whilst exclaiming why and where these spiders came from. Fighting the sexist hotel owner with her death glare as she proceeded to counter and resolve the issue of the arachnids in the UK. With such ease it always made me wonder why she would bring such a large “Fam” with her.

We headed back to the TARDIS, ready to embark on another adventure. 

“Did you see that?” Asked Ryan

“See what?” Replied the doctor in her confused cockney way. 

“I don’t see anything” chimed Yaz

“I swear if it’s another one of those spiders….” started Graham

Peering out the door of the TARDIS the doctor spoke again.  
“No, it’s too small to be a spider, at least one of them little buggers.”

“Yeah.. I think that looks human to me” confirmed Yaz

I turned around to get a proper look at what the fam were talking about. I saw a silhouette, staggering about in the shadows. I’d recognise that gait anywhere.

“El…?” I called towards the shadow “is that you?” 

“Ashe, El died -“ the doctor started to say, when the silhouette staggered out of the shadows. 

Even in her dishevelled and dirty state, I’d recognise her anywhere. Her blonde hair was shiny from all the grease, skin covered in dirt and bruises, her clothes barely staying on her frame. 

“El!” I shouted. She looked up at me, her blue eyes scanning up and down my body. 

“Well it’s about fucking time” she replied, grinning sardonically, before vomiting down her front and collapsing in a pile on the floor. 

“Doctor, we have to help her, please!” I cried as I raced towards her limp body. Looking back at the others for help, the look of shock and surprise on their faces. 

“Doctor please!” I pleaded, she hadn’t moved. Her face frozen in horror, her eyes filling with guilt. 

“It’s okay Ashe, I’ve got her” said Ryan, as he picked El up in a bridal style. He headed towards the TARDIS, Yaz and Graham opening the doors for him, sharing a look of joy and terror on their faces.

“I’ll take her to the medical bay, yeah doc?” Asked Ryan

“Yeah, sure” mumbled the Doctor. Looking stunned and still rooted to the spot. Looking at her, I was hit by a wave of emotions. I was happy that I had found my friend, ecstatic to say the least. I thought I had lost her. Lost her to the flames when she...However, once the happiness hit, I was overwhelmed with anger. Anger towards the doctor, anger that she had lied about my friends whereabouts. I was told she was gone. Perhaps that was true, But I had such anger that she got our partners killed, anger that I thought I had dealt with, processed. She looked up at me, guilt and sadness riddled in her face. 

“Ashe, I’m so-“ she started to say

“Save it!” I barked at her, storming into the TARDIS, leaving her outside alone, for once bringing up the rear. I headed to the medical bay, I had finally found my friend again, and I was not going to lose her again.


	2. Reunion- EL

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> El is found by the doctor and the fam. Whilst unconscious she encounters an old guiding force to keep her company.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: drug reference.

My eyes slowly cracked opened at the sounds of footsteps approaching. Head throbbing, face damp. I reached my hand up to wipe away what was on my forehead, only to pull away my hand to find it painted in blood. I struggled to piece together the events of the day before, but the aches across my body told me enough.

I heard voices. Muffled to the distance and stifled by the sound of the ache and groan of the room in which I was in.  
Their voices grew louder as they approached the room. I rolled over, reaching out to the tin I kept my tabs in. It was empty.

"Fuck" I hissed, reaching for a glass bottle that sat just within reach. That was empty as well.

"Shitting fuck" I cursed, again in annoyance. I was too sober for this shit. I started to crawl on my hands and knees towards the far corner, increasing the distance between myself and the door.

The voices stopped just at the doors edge. I calmed my breathing. I hadn’t realised it had become so shaken. I pressed my back up against the wall and felt the cold damp concrete against my skin. A cold reminder that my high was coming down and that reality would soon be wrecking my mind once again. Flooding back memories of the day-  
A man stepped through the door. In the haze of the bright light from outside I could make out a silhouette. It was a man I recognised.

"Jesus Christ El, I heard you'd not taken it well but fucking hell" the man said, Voice sick with sarcasm and drenched in pitty.

"A-Andreas?" I stammered. Letting out a breath and glancing down at the floor. Curling my toes and seeing, for the first time in a while, the filth I was in.

"Look I ain't got much time, the alpha crack head or whatever you want to call him has only given me 20 minutes, when I smash the bottle jump out the window and run you got it?" Andreas instructed. Reaching for one of many discarded bottles and gripping it firmly at the neck. I nodded sheepishly in reply.

"What about Ashe? Have you found her-" I started to ask him.

"We do not have time for this El, I'm sorry. I haven't been able to contact her. Now go go!" He barked, he smashed my empty glass bottle against the furthest wall. I clambered through the window. Clumsily hoisting myself over the lip. I landed with a thud onto the landing which held the fire escape outside. Just a couple of lengths of stairs and a stagger down the alleyway below as I heard Andreas screaming obscenities behind me.

I ran as fast as my legs could carry me, before long I was faltering, struggling to move with any coordination. I hadn't gone this long without any gear for a long time, since before the accident, since before his death, where I watched him-

"No" I said out loud, trying to stop myself thinking of that day again. The day it all went to shit. I staggered a little further down an alleyway. Disorientated I had no idea where I was anymore. I heard voices up ahead of me, I staggered towards them.

"Yeah… I think that looks human to me" I heard a female voice say.

Human, I thought to myself, what else would I be? I looked up trying to focus on the source of the voice. My vision was starting to blur, and stars were dancing across my vision. I could have sworn I saw Ashe, I saw her so many times when I was tripping, I was hallucinating again.

"El..?" Called Ashe "is that you?"

My blood froze, it couldn't be. Impossible. It must be the drugs still messing with my mind.

"Ashe, El died-" started another female voice, different to the first. To hell I did, I couldn't stop myself from unsteadily lurching forwards. I could feel my body starting to give up on me.

"El" Ashe screamed. Now I was out of the shadows, I could see her clearer now. I scanned her up and down. She hadn't changed a bit. Looked like she'd dealt with things a lot better than I had.

"Well it's about fucking time" I drawled, grinning sardonically as I said it. I felt my body shutting down. I couldn't stop the vomit creeping up my chest, my legs finally gave way. My vision went dark. I heard her voice, pleading with someone. I heard a man's voice, and strong arms pick me up.

It was actually Ashe, I had finally found her. I went to move my arms but they felt like lead. I tried to open my eyes, nothing happened. I heard the mans voice again.

"Its gonna be okay" his voice reassured "My names Ryan, and we're gonna help you, its gonna be alright" 

I felt him put me down on a firm surface, I tried to reach for him but, again, my limbs were unresponsive. 

"Where am I?" I asked. No response.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Can you hear me? Where am I? Wheres Ashe? What do you want from me?" I shouted, each question becoming more hysterical. I heard a laugh, it sounded female, but there was a mechanical wheeziness to it. A hum followed every word.

"Who's there?" I shouted into the darkness. I was met with more laughter taunting my struggle.

"Oh my dear, you're unconscious. They can't hear you. Don't worry though, you are in safe hands. Here, let's have some light shall we?"

A light flickered on. There was a table in the middle of a room, where a woman was sat. An empty chair opposite her. She was beaming what did she have so much to be bloody pleased about.

"Please my dear" the woman said, gesturing to the empty chair "take a seat." I cautiously walked towards the table, scanning the woman up and down. She looked like she was in her late thirties or early forties. She had pale skin. Dark brown hair, which had been thrown up into a messy up do. She wore a long sleeved light grey/blue corset laced dress, with two bows up the chest. Victorian style, old fashioned but classy. The skirt of the dress was a darker blue.

My eyes settled back on her face. Her face emanated kind features. Soft brown doe eyes with life, so much life, behind them. She had seen so much but she seemed so young, too young to have such eyes. 

"Who are you?" I asked suspiciously, still sizing her up. She tsked me.

"Now, now there will be a time for proper introductions later" She seemed unfazed by me eyeing her up, and offered no hint that she would, in fact, introduce herself properly at this moment. I was resigned to that fate.

"Okay then," I finally replied "where am I then?" Emphasising where. I settled down into the chair opposite her, crossing my arms. This question earnt another wheezy chuckle from the mysterious woman sitting opposite me.

"In your head" she smiled.

"What the fuck? Are you serious?" I stammered confused. Anger furrowing my brow.  
"Like hell I would believe that, How the fuck did you get into my head anyway?"

"Watch your language dear" she chided

"Answer my fucking question!" I exclaimed. That earned a steely stare from across the table.

"Why you let me in dear"

"I...What...how…" I muttered in reply.

"You need to ask better questions if you aren't satisfied with the answers." she said smugly, raising an eyebrow at the exasperated look on my face.

"Err, okay, hmm…” I paused a moment and considered my question a moment longer “Who are you supposed to be?" I asked "Cuz you only dream of things you've seen before, so I must have seen you before….right?" This earned another wheezy laugh.

"Now you're getting the hang of it my dear, although I have slightly broken to rules a tiny bit," she smirked "so I'll let you have that, technically you haven't met me, but you're inside me.” This was not a line I was expecting to hear today “Now stop that! We aren't here to catch flies." She chortled, reaching across the table, closing my mouth with her hand.

"I'm sorry," I started, shaking my head of cobwebs "but I really don't follow-"

"My dear, my pilot has decided to take you on board her ship, that's me," she gestured pointing her fingers towards herself with a grin "Since you're in such a state…" gesturing at me across the table with large motions "I decided to keep you company until you are well enough to be conscious again" she stated, smiling brightly towards me.

"Okay….I still don't follow, I thought ships were well, inanimate…"

"Oh yes, I forgot how basic human technology is-" she cleared her throat

"Wait….Am I on an-"

"Alien ship, yes!" She exclaimed, clapping excited "oh I love it when they finally catch up!" 

"Right, okay, still doesn't answer my question as to how you are in my head though."

"Okay, okay, fine, would you like the long or the short story?" She excitedly exclaimed.

"There's a story?...sure what's wrong with a story?..” I said plainly, looking quite bewilderedly at this presence in front of me. A thought came to mind that I felt could make me feel better. “Hey don't you have a name? All ships have names" I asked happily. 

Prodding this mysterious entity for more information made me almost match the enthusiasm that it had. An intrigue I hadn’t felt in a long time since my days analysing mathematical equations and bollocks. Either way the data it gave me couldn’t make me feel any more uneasy than the presence of whatever was in my system and the fact I found contact with aliens. 

"Ah excellent!" She said clapping excitedly again "In this form, please call me Idris." She teased with another grin.

"Okay, Idris" I said, testing the name "what's your story?"

"Well my dear, a very, very, very long time ago, my pilot answered a distress call, bless their hearts. Always looks for the best in people, it Will be the end of My Dear Pilot. Anyway, They took my matrix out and placed it in this form," She explained, gesturing at Herself "I didn't like it at the time, far too...constricting," rubbing her neck "but I've heard so much about you from Ashe, and my pilot-"

"Wait, you've spoken to Ashe?" I interjected

"Well...I'm a very good listener...that's not important. As soon as I felt you come into the ship, your pain, your grief and your sorrow. I knew I had to meet you, I couldn't wait for you to wake up," she smiled, reaching across the table, taking my hands in hers "I see you El, I see you" she whispered, her voice getting fainter.

"Wait, Idris, where are you going?" I called after her, light blinding me. I threw my hands up over my eyes. White light blinded me, my eyes fluttered open, head pounding.

I started to focus on the ceiling above me, it was different to the room I had just been in. I tried moving, but an arm stopped me.

"Whoah steady there bitch, steady on"

"Ashe, you can't call her that" graham snorted

"Yeah, Ashe that's a bit...forward isnt it…" I started to laugh huskily. Good old Ashe. I scanned round the edge of the bed, until I found her. There she was, sat next to me. 

"Welcome back to the land of the living. I guess we have a lot to catch up on.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading chapter 2! Onwards to more chapters.


	3. Wait - Ashe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> El wakes from her unrestful slumber and meets the Fam for the first time.

Time flew by, it always did in the TARDIS. We’d taken off from earth and were drifting about in the time vortex. We weren’t going on any adventures. Not until El had healed. 

Guilt gnawed away at me, El was my friend. I felt, I was, a little responsible for the state that El had found herself in. The reason that the rest of the fam couldn’t leave and go on adventures. This was the longest we had gone without launching ourselves into one of the doctors schemes. The doctor's cogs were always turning. Leading us across the stars on adventures. Leaping into distress calls that managed to find themselves tangled in the sensors of the TARDIS. On a couple of occasions, when I could cut the tension in the room with a knife, I suggested they go on an adventure themselves. I could have stayed behind and cared for her. She was only asleep after all. The vast array of semi futuristic health equipment was monitoring her. I also could only assume the TARDIS was the one controlling the systems since the Dr was in title only. None of us really had a clue what we were doing. Or what we had stumbled across in the gutters. On multiple occasions I pressed the fam, the Doctor, to go out and enjoy themselves, but the Doctor would always shut the idea down.

Guilt was written over her face. She’d barely spoken to me since El had arrived. When we discovered El, Ryan had carried her in. The Doctor rushed after him. Into the medical bay. Wiring El up to the machines. The Doctor checked on her a couple of times a day, making sure El was still making progress. She never made eye contact with me whilst doing her checks. I’d barely left Els' side, save a couple of loo breaks and when Graham forced me to actually move and stroll around the TARDIS. Graham said I wouldn’t do El any good with my ass fused to the seat and I had agreed. Yaz and Ryan sometimes kept me company, but it was mostly Graham that stayed with me as I waited for El to come round. 

Today was the fourth day El had been unconscious for. I had set myself up, with the help of the others, my own little sleeping space in a mystery bed that appeared beside her in the medical bay. Something I was sure the TARDIS had provided after I had awkwardly, and ungracefully, passed out in the chair next to El’s bed. It was cozy and made me feel better in the circumstances. To be near in case of an emergency. Or if El woke up and began to panic.

I was settled in bed. Dreaming nothing important, but sleeping nonetheless. Graham sauntered in with a big grin on his face. I had barely opened my eyes to drag myself out of bed when he exclaimed. “Morning all, rise and shine!” It was loud, proud and certainly cheerie. “I brought breakfast!” He exclaimed. Placing the tray of food he had brought on the little table beside the bed. It smelt great. Of course it did, he was the only “Adult” in this spaceship. With plenty of real life experience to cook a decent breakfast.

“Aw thanks Graham, you’re an absolute star.” I said. Grabbing the cup of tea and sipping away. Not waiting for it too cool I made some exclamatory noises with each sip.

“No worries love,” he smiled, sitting down in his chair at the end of El’s bed “how’s the patient?” He asked, nodding his head towards El. 

“Well, she hasn’t gotten any worse” I said, raising my eyebrows and meekly smiling at him.

“Silver lining I s’pose” he replied, sipping his own tea.

He was such a sweetheart, and an optimist.

“The others said they’d visit later,” he started “but they’re trying to cheer the doc up. She ain’t been right since your friend turned up…not that it’s anyone’s fault at all, she needed our help the poor lamb” he backtracked, some of my irritation must have been visible on my face. 

I know exactly why the Doctor had been off. She lied. Straight to my face. Insisting I come with them to help stop the alien attack, I then just never left. What did I have to go back to? No partner, no friends, just a job and a lot of questions I didn’t want to answer. Out of the entire fam Graham made me feel the most welcome. He always made an effort to talk to me and include me. Ryan was a nice enough lad, we just didn’t have much in common. Yaz was civil with me, she tolerated my presence because the doctor did. I was drawn out of my thoughts by Graham’s voice. 

“Hey Ashe, did you see that?”

“Huh, what?”

“I swear I just saw her hand twitch!” I looked at El’s hands, I watched for a few seconds. They remained motionless. 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about Graham, I don’t see-“

“Look!” He exclaimed “they’re moving again!” This time I did see the movement. A slight flex of her wrists. 

“El, can you hear me?” I asked “squeeze my fingers if you can hear me” placing my hand in hers. Nothing. 

“I’m sorry Ashe,” Graham sheepishly said “I think we jumped the gun on this one.” Sliding my hand out of hers, I placed it back in my lap. 

“I think you’re ri-“ I started before I was interrupted by a noise coming from El. 

“Wa….Idris….you...going.” El’s eyes fluttered open, and before either of us had a chance to speak, she lurched forward. Instinctively, my arm flew out to pin her back down. 

“Whoah steady there bitch, steady on” I jokingly instructed her. 

"Ashe, you can't call her that" Graham snorted, tea coming out of his nostrils. 

“Yeah, Ashe that's a bit...forward isn't it…" El started to laugh huskily. 

“Welcome back to the land of the living!” I laughed. Taking a deep breath of relief. I examined her all over. Holding her arms holding her back to rest on the pillow. “I guess we have a lot to catch up on” I smirked at her. 

“Like hell we do” El managed before breaking into a mini coughing fit. Me and Graham exchanged a passing glance towards one another. Both of us placing a reassuring pat on Els back to “help” her cough.

“Ah it’s good to see you’re finally with us. I’m Graham.” He said, patting her shoulder twice and rescinding back to his chair. “You've got a good friend here,” gesturing at me “she’s barely left your side, I’ve had to force her to walk round the TARDIS so she wouldn't become stuck to the chair!”

“Aw, I didn’t realise I still had that effect on you” El smirked at me. That fucking smirk. I’d missed it so much, a sentence I never thought I’d say. 

“I’ll leave you two to catch up while I go get the doc” Graham said as he left the room. 

“Take your time!” I shouted after him. 

“So,” El started 

“Yeah, so” It had been quite a while since the incident. At Least for me. I wasn't sure how much linear time had passed for El. Though I didn't think it had been long when we had plopped back onto the earth timeline. 

“Who wants to go first, although I must say, it looks like you handled shit a lot better than I did.”

“Well, I was always less…” I paused struggling to find the right word to use. 

“Unstable?”

“I was actually going to say chaotic.” I countered. That earned a snort. 

“We never used to beat about the bush, why start now?” I smiled sadly at her. She’d lost a lot of weight. She was a shadow of the person I knew. Once where she was lean and muscled. The was bone, and sags of loose skin that dropped across the structure of her body. She had lost so much. There was a moment of silence. 

“Why didn’t you come back for me?” She asked quietly, I looked over at her, her eyes gleaming with tears. “Why did you leave me that day? I needed you.” She whispered, her voice breaking. Quivering. 

“I-I was told you were dead.” I stammered. 

“Did you see my fucking dead body on the beach?” she snapped. No more sadness and tears, just anger. 

“N-no, but you did launch yourself off the pier into the water, towards the-“

“The burning wreck that our boyfriends were on. Yeah I saw them.” Arms crossed, looking straight ahead. My brow furrowed and I stared at her. I had never felt such anger swelling inside me. The joy I had felt for my friend waking up was being marred by this new wave of almost hate, resentment for what I knew was going to be said. 

“What was I supposed to do?” I cried, flinging my arms up in the air “wait for you to come back? Hang around on that pier like a sitting duck? There was no way they would have survived. I can't swim as well as you. I can't…”

“Well I don't know,” she said irritated “a note would have been fucking nice.”

“A note...A NOTE!” I shouted, standing up now, arms flailing and falling to my side. Fists clenched as I spoke. “YOU WANTED A FUCKING NOTE? El, the world was literally on fucking fire. There were aliens shooting at us. At other people. At children. I did what I thought was best. What I thought would be the best option for getting the boys and you, out of there if you were alive. This, just happened to be, joining up with a fucking ditsy alien and cabin crew to try and stop more death and destruction. Not throwing myself off of a pier towards goddamn men in black bullshit armed only with my fists and lack of stamina!” I screamed at her, feeling all the emotions I’d kept locked up for the last few months bubble over. I finally looked at her, she still had her arms crossed, a blank look on her face.

“Well a note would have still been a nice heads up” she muttered. 

“AH GOD DAMNIT! You never change do you” I screamed, walking away from the bed in an attempt not to throttle her. Hand placed firmly on my forehead.

“What you getting all huffy for?” She snapped “Looks like you’ve been living it up as the Queen of Sheba here.”

“Oh you’ve got some fucking nerve” I snapped around. Finger pointed firmly in her direction.

"Try me bitch." I looked over her. Her eyes were burning with rage, if she wasn’t so weak I knew she would have slapped me by now.

"You could have left a note too ya know" I sighed.

"I fucking tried! I messaged everyone from work, hell I even asked Andreas for help tracking you-"

"Wait you even asked Andreas? Son of a bitch Andreas?" I asked surprised, guilt starting to knot in my stomach. She really did fucking try to find me. "What were you doing asking him for help?"

"Well after I dragged myself out of the ocean, I wandered round the town, looking for you," she paused to catch her breath, throwing me a glare in the process "I didn't know where else to go! It took me about a day, day and a bit to finally get to his house. He kinda let me crash at his." She heaved, she took a moment to steady her breathing and clear her throat. "Things were going okay for a few months, then it was," her voice caught as she tried to fight back the tears and corrected herself "should have been...His... birthday, then things kinda went a bit…" taking a moment to find the right word, finger tapping the side of the bed. "Off the rails" she finally said.

"How far off the rails we talking?" I asked, racking my brain, remembering previous incidents of hers. She waved a hand dismissively in my direction.

"Does it matter? I found you, that's the main thing."

"You were half dead El! How far 'off the rails'" I quoted at her "did you go?" I exclaimed.

"Inside voice please Ashe," I heard the Doctor cheerily say as she entered the room, the fam bringing up the rear "And who was off the rails? I've been on a train once," she started to ramble "I didn't much care for it, although I think that was down to the cursed mummy, although technically the train was a facade for us to crack the curse…" she faded out realising she had gone on another one of her tangents. "Sorry, hi I'm the Doctor!" She smiled, waving at El as she introduced herself.

"Don't I know you from somewhere?" El asked suspiciously. She scanned the Doctor up and down.

"Erm I'm not sure, here, do you mind if I-"

"Its you."

"Yes it's me, hi the doctor, just introduced myself just now, do you have amnesia? The TARDIS should have sorted that…" the doctor trailed off as she went do El's side, tapping the screens next to her bed. She reached an arm out towards the IV tubes coming out of El's arm.

"Don't fucking touch me!" El shouted at the doc, attempting to pull her arm out of the way.

"Hey, hey, it's fine! I'm not touching." The Doctor replied, holding her arms up in surrender.

"What have you done to me?" El demanded.

"She saved your life." Yaz pointedly aimed at El. Ryan obviously holding an arm out to block Yaz moving towards El.

"Did I fucking ask you?" El finally dragged her eyes off the Doctor to look Yaz up and down, looking like she was chewing a wasp in the process.

"El-" I warned. Another dismissive hand wave from her.

"Well I wouldn't be in this state if SHE hadn't shown up." El said bitterly, looking back at the doctor. "SHE ruined everything."

"El, please, the doctor is only trying to help." I pleaded with El, trying to calm her down. I reached out to her in an attempt to calm her down. It only made things worse.

"Get off me! Get off!" El shouted hysterically, getting more worked up.

"El, I'm sorry. Look, I'm just trying help. Let me help you." The Doctor was attempting to calm her down, but to no avail.

"The last time YOU tried to help, you killed them!" El screamed. "YOU killed them, if you hadn't tried to save the fucking day they would still be alive."

"El," the doctor started to calmly say to her, like she was trying to calm down a spooked horse, "I cannot begin to tell you how sorry-"

“El we all could have fucking died” I interjected. “If the Doctor wasn’t there we would all be six feet under and a goddamn statistic for the number of deaths that day.” I snapped. Looking briefly at the Doctors flustered expression.

"Why are you defending her?" El now screamed at me hysterically, her voice was starting to break and her arms were flailing about the place. "She's the reason they're dead! She's the reason why Ste-"

"ENOUGH!"

We stopped in our tracks, even El kept quiet. I looked round towards the source of the voice. 

"Enough, please." Ryan pleaded, looking sheepish that he had to raise his voice in the first place.

"No offence doc," Graham started "but I think for once you are doing more harm than good." I watched her mouth open in protest, then quickly close it as Graham looked her way, averting her eyes to the floor. "Thankfully El seems to be on the road for recovery, the TARDIS has done a good job so far of keeping her alive, I suggest we don't intervene unless necessary."

"But Graham-" the Doctor said, starting to explain, no doubt, some complex excuse as to why she had to personally read El's vitals instead of checking them from the control room. Graham held his hand up to silence her.

"We all remember what happened that day, yes?" Everyone mumbled in agreement. "So, let's give El and Ashe some space, no doubt they have a lot to catch up on. I'm sure a erm...what's it called?" Clicking his fingers trying to remember the word he was thinking of.

"Probation period?" Yaz suggested, giving El an icy stare. This was met by a cool indifference, with a slight hint of disgust.

"No," glared Ryan angrily over at Yaz "a transition period."

“Yeah, that’s the word I was looking for.” Graham said, clicking his finger in agreement.

“Basically,” said Ryan “what my grandad is trying to say is, take your time adjusting to your new surroundings.” He gave El a small smile, again this was met by a cool indifference. 

“Right everyone,” Ryan announced, clasping his hands together, “ let’s leave El alone to heal, give us a shout if you need anything.” Again delivered with a small smile, El nodded curtly at him. That was the best he was going to get. He looked over at me, still standing by her bed, I gave him a small apologetic smile. God I don’t remember her being this much hard work. 

As everyone filtered out of the room, the Doctor caught my eye, turning around to look at me before exiting. 

“Hey Ashe, can I have a word?”

I looked over at El hesitantly, she nodded, allowing me to leave the room. I gave her hand one more squeeze. 

“I won’t be long” I assured her, crossing the room to catch up with the Doctor, who was waiting in the doorway. I smiled to myself as I heard El mutter under her breath that sounded like don’t rush back. Such a grumpy bitch. 

I took a few deep breaths to steady my hands, I hadn’t realised they were shaky until I’d finally let go of the bed. I followed the doctor to the console room, where the others were waiting. I knew the discussion wouldn’t be over. I took a few more deep breaths to calm myself, the next conversation would not be an easy one. 

As I entered the console room, Ryan threw me a small apologetic smile. I saw the grave look on the Doctor's face, I knew there would be no good news in the meeting.

"I'm sorry about El guys, she's actually a nice person once you get to know her," I tried to explain to them, earning a snort from Yaz, "she's not had the greatest of pasts and she struggles to process emotions at the best of times-"

"Organ failure." Interrupted the Doctor, not taking her eyes off the screen. "Most likely caused by some sort of an overdose. I'm still running tests to determine what caused it." She started to tap at buttons, still refusing to look at any of us.

"Is she gonna be okay?" I asked, still stunned by the information the Doctor just gave me.

"The TARDIS managed to fix most of the damage to her organs, they're healing up nicely." She explained, looking over at me smiling.

"But…"

"BUT, there's a lot of residual in her system too, so a full body toxicology scan should tell us what chemicals cause her body to fail." She absent mindly tapped at the screen.

"Is there anything else we can do for her?" I asked. My heart heavy with anxiety.

"Yes, I need to stop off at a planet to pick up some treatments." Everyone's gaze shot over to the Doctor. The Doctor offered a brief smile.

"You mean, we can FINALLY get out and have an adventure instead of babysitting?" Yaz asked innocently, the Doctor shot her a glare.

"In and out, no side quests. I don't want to leave El alone in the TARDIS for too long."

"In case she smashes it up" Yaz muttered to Ryan standing next to her, earning a disapproving look from him.

"Thank you Doctor!" I rushed over to her, embracing her. She embraced me back, her cheek resting on my temple.

"Believe me Ashe when I say I will do everything I can to save El." She numbered into my hair. In one swift movement she stepped away, towards the controls. She pressed a few buttons on the console and the TARDIS wheezed into action.


	4. Companionship- El

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> El continues to heal as the fam form a plan to get supplies to help her recovery.

Chapter-4 El

As everyone left my room, I took a moment to take in my surroundings. The room was large; high ceilings and open plan. The room could have easily fit 8 beds, however, there were only 2. Mine and what I assume to be Ashe’s. I smiled to myself. The floor was a light blue, with white walkway strips to where said beds would have been, white rectangles indicating where a bed would be placed. The walls were a matte silver, with a honeycomb indentation along them. Every now and again a large silver sign with circular patterns broke up the pattern. The whole room had a sterile clinical smell to it. 

I gazed down at my arm, watching the numerous tubes come out of it. I followed the tubes to what looked like IV drip bags, all containing fluids that looked like different flavoured powerades. 

“Mmm tasty.” I said to myself. My gaze drifted to the screen on the wall next to my bed. Again the weird circular patterns drifted across it every few seconds. 

I tried to reposition myself, struggling as I went. My arms had become twigs, barely able to hold my own weight. I grunted as they gave way underneath me mid shuffle. Frustrated, I attempted again, my arms giving out even faster this time. I could feel my irritation growing, I attempted a third time, barely moving at all. I could feel the stinging of tears in the corner of my eyes. 

I barely noticed an alarm going off, wallowing in self pity at my lack of ability to perform the most simple of tasks. Fighting back the tears, I felt a warm sensation pressing against the inside my forehead. The warmth gave me something else to focus on, allowing the tears to cease. I hadn’t even heard the rumble of footsteps that were heading my way. 

“El are you okay?” Ashe asked breathlessly. I looked up at her, I was half slumped down the bed, looking more like a stroke victim. I felt a rush of shame come over me as the Doctor and her cadre joined Ashe in the doorway. 

“Oh dear, what were you trying to do here El?” Asked the Doctor cheerily. I couldn’t make eye contact with any of them. 

“I wanted to get more comfy.” I mumbled under my breath as the Doctor was tapping at the screen next to me, checking what looked like my vitals. I felt two pairs of hands grab my sides. I couldn’t stop myself from flinching from their touch. I hadn’t thought it was visible until I looked up at Graham’s hurt face. 

“Whoah there.” he said, as if he was calming a spooked horse. 

“We’re just trying to reposition you, no need to panic.” Ryan assured me, I looked over at him, and he gave me a small encouraging smile. 

“Where did you want to go love?” Graham asked. 

“To the left and down a bit please.” I coughed.

“Okay you got that Ryan?”

“Yes sir!” Ryan said, mimicking a soldier, giving me a cheeky winky. I couldn’t help but chuckle. Maybe I could let my guard down a little here.

Once they had heaved me to my new position, I wriggled myself to the mattress, trying to improve my comfort. I hadn’t noticed the Doctor pull up a chair, but she had settled into one beside my bed, giving me a small encouraging smile. 

“So, El,” she started “you suffered from organ failure…” I didn’t hear the rest, I was lying in bed in shock, which didn’t last long as the shame started to creep over me. 

“El!” Ashe said, squeezing my hands to get my attention. “The Doctor asked you a question.”

“Oh right, sorry.” I apologised. 

“No worries, it’s a lot to take in I know.” She said, smiling sadly at me. “As I was saying, the TARDIS fixed most of your organs, but you still have a lot of toxic residue in your system. So I’m going to flush your system with a gel like fluid. That should do the trick.” She was beaming by now, impressed with her own intelligence. 

“Its like lube!” Ashe said gleefully. Smiling at me mischievously. 

“Thank you, that’s great.” I choked back, my throat feeling very dry again, chuckling at Ashe being a funny twat. “So why are you telling me this and not doing it?”

“Well, I don’t actually have the gel on the TARDIS.” The Doctor spluttered. Placing a hand on her chin contemplatively. I must have looked shocked as well as confused. “I know where to get it, we will have to land and pick some up.”

“We?” I asked, getting more confused. 

“Yeah,” she confirmed “me, Ashe, Ryan, and Yaz.”

“But what about-“

“Yup you’re stuck with me I’m afraid.” Grinned Graham. “According to the doc I am the most qualified.” clearly quoting the Doctor with his fingers. 

“When do you leave?” I asked, looking up at Ashe. 

“Now.” Yaz pointedly said, arms crossed and foot tapping impatiently, glaring at the Doctor. I squeezed Ashe’s hand. 

“Go have some fun.” I whispered to her, giving her and the Doctor a small smile. 

Squeezing my hand back, she left with the others, Graham walking alongside the Doctor as she was giving him last minute instructions. 

I suppose I could get used to it here, I thought to myself. There are definitely worse places to live. I could feel my fingers start to tap, fidgeting again. It wasn't one of my better habits. If I wasn’t so tired my toes would be joining in too. 

I was drawn out of my trance by the sound of wheezing engines, and a low hum filling the room. It was an odd sensation, knowing I was moving but still feeling stationary, I couldn’t even feel the rumble of an engine under my feet or in the walls. It was big fucking spaceship who would have thought. 

My wonder was short lived, as a sharp pain shot across my abdomen. I took a sharp intake of breath and hissed. But again I felt the warm sensation pressing on inside of my forehead. Now that I was alone, I tried to not only focus on it, but to try to reach out to it. I lifted my hand to my forehead. It was almost as if I couldn't feel the touch I gave over the warming sensation that danced beneath my fingers. Something almost physical but without tangible location. Between the brain and the skull it fluttered around. I tried, mentally, to speak to it. It felt like my inner monologue now had an audience. In response, I felt the warming sensation spread to my ears and start to creep towards the back of my head, starting to encase my mind. 

“Right, they’re getting ready for their excursion. They’ll be gone soon, then it’ll just be us.” I jumped at the sound of Graham’s voice, I hadn’t noticed him re-enter the room. The warm sensation around my brain retracted, leaving my head feeling cold and a little fuzzy. I swear my skull felt a lot harder round my brain than it did earlier, without the warm cushion in between. It was throbbing. 

“Sorry didn’t mean to scare you there love.” He sheepishly said. “Are you okay? Do you need a drink?” I must have still had my hand against my forehead. 

“Erm yes please, water and err a jasmine tea if there’s any.” I replied, still trying to get the fuzziness to stop. 

“Sure thing, anything else? No solid foods I’m afraid but I can give you some soup if you’re hungry?” At the thought of food my stomach recoiled, and I instantly felt nausea hit me like a brick wall. 

“No thank you just the tea.” I watched Graham go to leave the room when an idea popped into my head. “And a pack of cards if you’ve got any, please.”

“I’ll have a look, I’m sure there must be a pack of cards on the TARDIS somewhere….although I don't know if they’ll be a human pack!” Graham shouted over his shoulder as he went on his errands. 

Once he’d left me alone again, I waited for the warm sensation to return. A few minutes passed and nothing happened. I changed my approach. Instead of waiting for the sensation to come back, I tried to see if I could coax it back. 

I closed my eyes and let my head relax into the pillow. I tried to imagine a pair of hands extending out of my consciousness, out of my brain and towards my skull, as if I was trying to feel the inside of my own head. Just before I envisioned the palms of these hands touching the inside of my skull, I felt a gentle warm breeze blow through them. I tried to grab at the breeze, but it left as swiftly as it had arrived, like I had been trying to hold onto the wind itself. I instantly felt frustrated, causing me to lose focus, and the mental image broke. I opened my eyes slowly and I heard the TARDIS wheeze gently, like it was laughing at me. Whatever was causing this sensation, the TARDIS knew what was causing it, and by the sounds of it enjoying tormenting me with it. I chuckled in frustration at the TARDIS's mockery of me.

“You’re in luck, I’ve managed to find a pack.” I shifted my focus from the ceiling to the doorway, where Graham was wandering towards me with a tray of drinks and a pack of cards. 

“A glass of water and a cup of jasmine tea as requested.” He placed the tray down on a table that had appeared by the side of my bed. Or maybe it had always been there and I just hadn’t noticed. He wheeled it round so that the table came across my bed, like a hospital one. I took a sip of my tea, hissing as I burnt my lips and tongue. Graham chuckled. 

“You’re just like Ashe, she does the exact same every morning.” I smiled weakly at him. I picked up the cards and took them out of their packet, starting to shuffle them. 

“Whatcha play?” I asked him. 

“I haven’t played in a looongg time, can we start with something easy please?” He sheepishly grinned at me, dunking a biscuit into his own cup of tea. 

“Snap?” I attempted to say jokingly. I realised I was going to have to tone the sarcasm down if I was going to get along with everyone here. This earnt a jokey eye roll from Graham. 

“Maybe not THAT easy.” Graham said, faking exasperation. I chuckled. It felt nice to be….well nice. It almost felt alien to me. 

“Hmmmm…” I pondered, racking my brain for ideas. “How do you feel about rummy?” 

“I haven’t played that in YEARS! You’re gonna have to refresh me on the rules though.”

“Okie dokie, rummy it is.” I proceeded to give Graham a refreshers course, reminding him of the rules. He picked it up quickly. He wasn’t a half bad player either. 

The time passed quickly, after at least ten games of rummy we switched to whist. After what seemed like hours a wall of fatigue hit me. Graham encouraged me to have another cup of tea, trying to keep me awake during what was now our last game of whist. I could feel my eyelids becoming heavy and droopy. 

“Sorry I’m not great company.” I mumbled. “I don’t know why I’ve gotten so sleepy all of a sudden.”

“It’s okay love, your body is still healing, that’ll be what’s causing it.” I hummed in agreement with him, suddenly very aware of all my joints aching. “Do you want me to stay by your side as you sleep?”

“You’re not leaving me are you?” I whispered, a wave of panic coming out of nowhere and flooding my system. 

“Of course not love.” Graham reassured. 

“Good,” I croaked, smiling “I suppose I’ll allow toilet and food breaks.” 

“Oh I’m allowed am I? Well thank you very much, your highness.” Graham said as he mocked a bow. I laughed huskily at him. His grinning face was the last thing I saw before I drifted off into the darkness, wondering what I may find there this time.

**Author's Note:**

> This is a fun crack project between friends, plotting some of our quarantine shit post story we have been making whilst watching the new series of Dr who.  
> Inserting some OCs to roast the fam and plot points and character development we may or may not like.


End file.
